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Relationship Booster : Forgiveness

The word "forgiveness" is a commonly used and heard word, but less practiced. Yet for any relationship to flourish, we must be willing to forgive the same person repeatedly. We hurt oneself, how much more will others not hurt us? Hence we must be ready to practice the three arm of Forgiveness.

The first arm is to allow oneself to receive and enjoy forgiveness from God. Many people still hold themselves hostage for the very sin God has forgiven long time ago. What we don't know how to receive, we can't know how to give others. The principle is that, there is nothing we have to give that we didn't receive and if we don't know how to receive forgiveness from God, then we won't know how to give forgiveness to men.

We must be able to transcend beyond self-forgiveness to being able to forgive others. Many of those who struggle forgiving others are mostly not capable of forgiving themselves. If you can forgive yourself of any wrong or mistake you commit, it would take the same nerves, courage, stamina and energy to forgive others. If not for anything, for your happiness and mental health, gather the courage to let your wrong go. Learning to overlook wrong is the ability to love oneself better.

The last arm of forgiveness is forgiving others. I had a friend whom we stepped on each other's toes in business. Not long from then, I gathered momentum to make peace with her, all effort proved abortive because she hasn't even made peace with herself, hence the struggle to make peace with me. Relationship would go sour, sorrowful, and end if we can't get a good grip on these three arm of forgiveness. 

If we conduct a survey on couples who had lived happily together for years, we would realise that love is not the only sustainable factor, understanding is a part as well as forgiveness. I have lost count on how many times my husband has forgiven my wrongs, ignorance, negligence, childishness and more and how many times I had to forbear him too. 

Let's not forget, we may be gods, yet we are human. We may be in love but we are not love personified. Our intent may be pure, but our actions may not always be right. "Forgiveness is not for others but for oneself. It's not forgetting, but remembering without anger and it opens up a new place of peace." Les Brown

#Relationship Booster

#Abimbola Oladotun (Ph.D)


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