The Voice

As simple and insignificant a waiter's or a cleaner's job may appear in the work place, the need for them can not be ignored. It is because they serve a need and a purpose that makes them "a can't do without". There was a time I had an 8am class to lecture, the class was on hold for the cleaner to do her job, which took almost 30 mins of my lecture time, yet I can't help not to. In order to be recognised, respected and relevant in our relationships and marriage, our presence must be serving a need and purpose. No one should occupy space for nothing. No one want to lose any part of their body, either seen or unseen, little or big. The reason is because every part of the body has a function they serve, even to the toes and fingers. Also, you would be respected and cherished when you serve a function or a purpose in the other person's lives. Has anyone ever being in a situation that you wish you had a longer nails? Because it has its importance and when the n...

DIFFERENCE is an addition. No matter the similarity you share with your partner, there would always be difference between you too. So don't expect all similarities and no difference. The law of creation pattern after the law of difference. Though He made us all in his image and likeness, yet He made us Male and Female. Though we are joint Heir with Christ, He told one to love and the other to submit (difference). He made one from the dust and the other from the rib, though we are both human. Whoever you end up with, you must sure learn to enjoy your differences. Your likes, dislike, hobbies, favourite place, values, personal culture, and more will be different, no matter how similar they seems. You need not to work yourself out trying to make another person be like you or do your thing. As long as there is a meeting point, make do with it and learn to enjoy the difference.  You should be able to accept the fact that though your children look alike, they are not the same. They are d...

If you don't want to be replaced, then you have to be rightly placed. The Gap you refuse to fill, another would soon fill up the space. There are no vacum in life.  In marriage, if you stop being the best friend to your spouse, another would (even opposite sex). In parenting, if you won't give a listening ear, and be a true support system to your children, their peers would soon be that support. I had some friends at the time, we were extremely close, but distance created a gap. We innocently refused to bridge the gap with a call, text, chat, voice note, or anything. At some point, we struggled to get back to what we were before, even though the interest was there. I had another friend, we haven't seen in 6 years, yet there was a deposit however little. She either check my status (a silent way of check up), or like my post or I send a voice note or pictures. We did something. And the time we saw, no one would believe we have been ways apar...

It's only natural to look after oneself first,  but one can build a nurture that look beyond self and look towards others. There is no one you genuinely put first, that won't put you first. Even God is not an exception of this rule. When He said "Seek first His Kingdom, and everything other thing He would add to you. The key to abundance, overflow, and lacking nothing is to put others first. When you have a pressing need, still consider its cost for others. When you are asked to go a mile, you can go twain.  Every act of service would not go unrewarded, maybe not directly from the expected, but it sure would be. The law of seed and harvest time is as certain as the law of morning and night. Have you even being asked a question or a favour and you answered or acted in favour of the other person. And with delight, the person reward you more greatly than he would, if you had being self conscious all the way ? If you are alone in the house, there is a way you would behave, tha...

The cheapest way to get who and what you want is to be like that person or thing. Likes will always attract likes. You want a faithful woman as a partner, then be faithful, and in no time the faithful man will find you.  You want your wife to be submissive, then submit in a manly way, she won't know when she will begin to yield to you at will. God was drawn to man in the garden of Eden because, only man was made in the likeness and image of God. Why we struggle to get what we want, or what we want people we love to be is because we are far from what we want and expect from others. Imagine a woman who respect her man, she would never be disrespectful by the man, because disrespect will be strange to him. Sometimes, when I want my daughter to do something, I don't even say it in words. I act it and before I know it, she act alongside with me. Even without the use of words, you can get someone to do something, simply by doing it. Before you ask others to do anything or be anything...

To be irreplaceable, you must bring something of worth to the table when you are in a place or with someone. We call some people irreplaceable because they are value adding people, they earned it and not just a mere adjective. This law simply says each person should contribute something valuable to another, in order to be and stay relevant and also to moisturise their relationship. Let no one be of the habit of taking, receiving, getting, collecting and never giving. The sea that did, without any exchange became a dead sea. Any relationship or marriage that does not fulfil this law, will put a strain on their relationship. It's either the person loses his/her value, because something must leave your hand for you to earn something. There is no free meal at all, even the person who showered you all the love, want to be loved back.  The reason that union is not working or will not work is because there is no exchange. So take corrective measures by starting where you are and with the ...

There is peculiarity in everything in life. One must not make the mistake of treating people, and situations as though they are the same. Some generalize that men are unfaithful, while some others concludes that women are lovers of money.  In order to have a beautiful relationship and marriage, one must treat his/her partner different from the general opinion and should handle situations from their unique standpoint. An instance, you see a strange message on your partner's phone, it would be immature of you to immediately assume  anything when you haven't even asked him or her or thoroughly give the situation a thought.  It would be unfair for you to think the way your neighbor husband is, is the way your husband too, simply because they share some similarity in traits or behavior, which has not being proven true. We should learn to play the right card in our relationship, just like how we play it in WHOT game. We know just when to drop pick two, pick five, general market...