The Voice

Everyone needs a breathing space for healthy living and survival. Breathing space from things, places and people, even God had his one day out of seven days of the week, where he abstained from work, things and people and all he created and he desire us to do likewise. We must not overdo things, some people will work ten days out of the seven days of the week, head overworking ahead of the days and time while letting their relationship to suffer. My husband will often tell me the place of work in our marriage and it never exceeds there for anyone of us. We equally need breathing space sometimes away from our partner, as a lot of relationships suffer suffocation or choking by their partner, as they don’t have a single space for self. We might be couple, but we are also individuals and both sides of our lives must be respected and honored. Even couple sometimes need breathing space from their children, where they can both be together without interruption, that way they can arr...

We don't have to lose a thing to know its worth. It’s a fallacy to conclude that "One doesn't know the value of something until one loses it". There is a positive psychology thinking pattern called “mental subtraction”, where you imagine your life without that person or thing. It’s a way to stimulate gratefulness and know the value of what is ours, and not until when it is lost. When you can imagine your life without that person, then your life with that person will be more meaningful and beautiful. I know the value and worth of all that I have, including people, things and all. Because I can play the differences between before and after I had them and this makes me treasure them the most.                                               We don't have to get t...

Let’s open our mind just as our eyes are open, for to be closed minded is no difference from physical blindness. Be open to experience, not all circumstances or people are exactly the same, make room for their differences. It’s a personality type required for a healthy relationship. Relating with a close minded person can sometimes be frustrating. It’s someone who can’t see the other side, who can't think outside the box, who can't embrace a new perspective and too narrow minded. This mindset rob us of the life and fun of our relationship, it limit one's life and that of others. It is close mindedness for a woman who was heartbroken by a man to conclude every man is unfaithful; even five men are only a few samples out of billion men in the world. Likewise for a woman to be generalized as women, and because your woman lied once should not make you form an unchanging opinion of her that she is a chronic liar, because a liar today can be the most sincere and open tomo...

Freedom breeds fulfillment. It gives one a feel, money, gold and nothing else can give. Even God had to give man a free will. He could easily enforce his laws and precepts on us but he gave us the will to choose because he is aware of the fulfillment freedom gives. Freedom has gone beyond being not locked up in the room. It is creating an atmosphere where people can be the best of themselves, where they can flourish at their areas of strength, enabling one to freely express their choice and preference on a matter without fear of judgments.                 One way to save what is owned is give it freedom. The freedom we have enjoyed in our marriage has created a healthy environment for us and those around us. I have the total support and back up of my husband to flourish in my career and endeavors and that in turn has added more beauty to our union and I also support all his visions by will and not unde...

The easiest way to win anyone is to place a high values on what they hold dear, precious and values. It is only natural for people of similar values to be found together. It would come easy for a sport oriented person to easily flow with another of the same.  I won the interest of a great mentor, unknowingly to me, because I had placed value on what he loves and cherish and that was just the beginning of it. Whatever my husband values as always being my priorities and it makes it easy for him to love me till always and forever. If you know what your partner values, it’s high time you start placing value on those. Apostle Paul stayed with Aquila and Priscilla; because he was of the same craft. We appreciate people of shared values and so celebrate similarities with others. People will celebrate you when you place value on whatever means so much to them. Some of my values are responsiveness, respect, friendliness, openness and to get me to the table, just display any o...

The highest form of knowledge is empathy. It is a strong connection point with others. It’s a needed skill for harmonious relationship and to also minimize stress and strain. When we develop our power of empathy, the other party opens up to us, fostering a happy union. Loving others is simply loving oneself. When we judge people’s act, we can’t also have the time to love them. But if you want to love others, show empathy. A lot of times, we show sympathy when in actually sense people need our empathy. To show empathy is to see with the eyes of another, hears through the ears of another and listen with the heart of another. We connect more, deeper and better with one another that way. Showing empathy is for you to understand the likely challenges the other might likely be going through and vice versa. It reduces the invisible gap, knowing someone else can feels what you are feeling and understand best. Empathy is the greatest virtue, from it all virtues flow and without it, all...

We can only be close to perfection, but we can’t be perfect. It would only be frustrating to expect perfection from anyone. We must learn to accept this reality that no one can be everything to you, and that you also can’t be a hundred percent. No matter how self sufficient we are, we will always need others as much as they need us. And no matter how strong we or others are, we always have a breaking point. Human’s needs are insatiable and as such no matter how super hero your man is, or how virtuous your woman is, he/she can’t be everything you want from her or do everything you desire. He/she is only human with limitations, so learn to enjoy whatever it’s in their human capacity and capability to do. When we newly got married, because I knew myself to be conscientious and up to the task. I put myself in that perfection state, and so will often feel bad as though I am not human when my husband points out my limitations, until I learnt that I could be called an angel, bu...